One step forward two steps back.....

thats the way it seems.....it seems nothing is going the way they should. Cas isn't getting any better. Not well enough for surgery.

I came in this morning and he had a temperature of 39. It could be another infection but thats highly doubtful as he just finished a round of antibiotics on Sat. It could be another virus.....Not such great news and makes me angry and upset all at the same time. Or it could be a very slim chance that it's his heart causing a fever.

I'm tired of Hospitals......so tired of them.

I'm tired of seeing my son poked 3-4 times a day.

i'm tired of not seeing my babys face,

im beginning to forget what he looks like.

i'm afraid that if the worst happens,

all i will remember is him with a CPAP machine on.

im tired of all the tests, the nurses, the doctors.

on thursday our two hour appoinment

has become a 4 week appointment

we came in for a cardio appointment

doctor said a few days to get the heart under control

the following week it became a cold

had to keep him til he was over the worst

the following week he went into heart failure

and the meds were no longer helping.

he got IV meds.

This week he seems to have contracted

another virus.

my son isn't going home anytime soon.

it seem that we struggle to take one step forward

only to take 2 steps back.